The Sometimes Bitterness

Female nudity.

Is it overdone to say something like “it’s everywhere!” Yes? I thought so.

But I think we have to back up. Nudity has not always been taboo (like it is in this country) and in many other countries today it is not taboo, or not nearly as much. It’s interesting how different cultures learn to think of the body, isn’t it? There are earthier, warmer places where it almost seems like the body nearly blends in with the earth, or with the community. And then we have older European countries who have come to embrace the body (and sexuality) as a much more casual thing.

But we have Puritan roots.

And – more importantly – in today’s United States of America 2012 culture, the body is a highly sexualized thing. And there is a difference between a celebration of the body’s natural beauty, and a celebration of anything-and-everything-sexuality by way of the human body.

Well, let’s be real. A woman’s body.

And (I feel bad about this) but I get bitter at society for having given my future husband so many naked women to look at. I’m old fashioned in some ways, but so much media-nudity just feels like an invasion of privacy. And now that my David is going to be MY husband, it feels like an invasion of MY privacy.

I asked him about it, and he told me once that seeing a naked woman in a movie doesn’t phase him. I can’t say I blame him. I haven’t seen near as many films as he has, and it barely phases me. But I’m a woman. I (kind of) look like that. And the fact that he’s become so desensitized to what a naked woman looks like…bothers me.

Because I want him to be enthralled by my nakedness. I want to be special and different to him. And I don’t like thinking about going into marriage with uneven footing. Because, yes, obviously I know what a naked man looks like. But I have been exposed to a tiny, tiny fraction of male nakedness compared to the female nakedness he has been exposed to.

Because that’s our society. And I don’t really understand it. And I don’t even really understand my own bitterness (which comes and goes) because it’s not going to be a problem and it shouldn’t be a big deal….

…and there isn’t anything I can do to change it.

I just have to lament things about society, I suppose.

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