I am really tired of all the flack Josh Harris is getting for his IKDB & BMG books (/lifestyle choices) from the emerging/healing voices in my generation speaking out against Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull/etc.

I read those books. And no, I didn’t agree with everything Josh Harris said (NEWSFLASH: IF THAT HAPPENS, THIS IS THE BEGINNING STAGES OF ‘CULT’). But I could recognize that he was out to tell his story. I feel like every chapter of Boy Meets Girl he included something along the lines of

  • “calling it ‘courtship’ wasn’t the point”
  • or “it’s a heart thing, not a rules thing”
  • or “Shannon and I didn’t kiss, but but that was our choice – not something for everyone.”

CP/QF survivors can’t stop bashing him and I don’t understand. Is it because I DIDN’T live through the CP/QF movement that I can appreciate those books & ideals? Because I just found solidarity in Josh Harris and that whole movement. I found out that I wasn’t the only one who found casual, purposeless dating to be stupid and something I had no interest in. It was affirming a lot of stuff I already thought, but didn’t know how to verbalize.

Is it because it wasn’t forced on me by my parents? Because I wasn’t lectured constantly on “not giving my heart away?” Because my first boyfriend was away at school and I could make my own judgments?

Not sure. I think it mildly unfair how angry my generation seems to be at a man who (in those books, anyway) was just trying to tell his own story.

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