{face the music and the music is that we can’t look past our own noses}

I long for a less barbaric world. Where people make sacrifices for the greater good, instead of fight tooth and nail for comfortable, quick legislation. I long for a world selfless enough to abandon IFV, and instead invest in (real) adoption and foster care. I long for a world dignified enough to look back on our abortion days with shame and disgust.

Fact: Abortion does not save women from poverty or unwanted children.

Adoption does those things. If you haven’t noticed, this country doesn’t have orphanages. We don’t have rooms lined with cribs of unwanted babies. People want babies. People spend years fighting and paying hundreds of thousands of dollars so they can adopt a 2 month old instead of a 2 year old.

Don’t feed me statistics about how unwanted babies have worse lives, therefore, abortion. People. want. babies. You don’t want yours? Great. Someone else does.

What abortion does (and I’m talking most cases, not rare or fringe medical cases) is save a woman from the shame and discomfort of a 40 week pregnancy.

That’s what we fight for. That’s what abortion provides – the only thing it provides that the adoption system does not.

It provides a way to hide from our brokenness (“My parents will kick me out,” “He’d leave me,” “I’d be so embarrassed,” “I could never look my family in the face,” “My church wouldn’t understand”). But it doesn’t erase that brokenness. It just lets it lie unexposed.

It provides an out from the natural consequences to our actions. Just as if I am sick, and I don’t want the illness, I am expected to endure the time of treatment in order to reach healing. But endure pregnancy (natural consequence of sex) when your plan is to give the child away? Unheard of! Cruel! Nothing a civilized woman should have to endure! So we rip away the period of waiting, of “treatment,” of sacrifice, and in so doing we rob another family of a potential child, and we rob that child of the life it never had a chance to live.

Just, for the love of God, you’re giving me tiny panic attacks every time you say that abortion helps women in some magnificent unique way. No one in this country is ever forced to raise a child if she doesn’t want to (see: Juno. It was a pretty popular movie.)

And, while I’m on a tirade, families who want children need to raise the bar, too. Maybe you should try to adopt locally, try to offer options to women in your midst who would otherwise abort. I don’t know. I don’t know how all that works. All I know is, it’s disgusting to visit foster centers, and hear representatives ache for someone to offer their home to an 8 or 9 year old child who is cycling endlessly through the system….all the while we pour millions of dollars into a “maybe this IVF will get me pregnant” system. It kind of grosses me out, to be perfectly honest.

Isn’t ignoring the actual needs, and artificially seeking to please ourselves, pretty much as barbaric as abortion? Isn’t it a little criminal to try and manufacture some kind of perfect bubble while this country so desperately needs families to get their hands a little dirty with something like foster care?

I just want to make the world less barbaric. Less selfish. But every side is clawing for self and it makes it hard to breathe.

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