Sociology and the Way People Work

1. //

I only took one Sociology class in my undergraduate career, though I would have taken more if I’d had the chance. Even so, I feel like I learned and got to discuss some really important things. In that class I developed a deep reverence and empathy for lawmakers and government officials, simply because I realized I would never, ever want to do their jobs. In that class I learned a little bit about how culture is shaped, and how things change, and how people react to different aspects of society, and how that leads to more changes.

I distinctly remember us discussing the family unit. Why do human families interact the way they do? Why do we form life-long bonds in ways that so few members of the animal kingdom do?

The simple answer is: our babies.

Human babies develop so slowly, and humans learn so much about how to take care of themselves from their parents and caregivers. This is not how baby frogs and toads work. This is not how giraffes work. Many animals begin to reproduce by the time our human babies are toddling or crawling around, not even yet able to speak.

Whether or not we believe in a higher power or deity, the fact remains that this is how human beings grow and mature. Families must stay together, in some form or fashion, in order to raise healthy children and propagate the species.

2. //

I just read an interview with a strong, upright, compassionate doctor and abortion provider. I so respect his humanity and his desire to help women, and I so respect others who share his opinions and his desire to help others.

But I ache for how much we have forgotten how humans work, and how families work. I ache that we put ourselves in situations where life is created, and unprepared for, and unwanted. I don’t believe that marriage = sex = babies = Glorify God = end of story. I may, at the end of the day, have a biologically childless marriage, myself. I would never, never tell anyone that their ability to have children is what makes their sex valid, or their marriage valid.

But still – still I ache over the separation of “rights” and “how human beings work” in many, many situations that lead to abortion.

Maybe I’m coloured by my own experiences.

You see, I know two girls who got pregnant when they didn’t want to be. (I know more, I’m sure, but for now I’ll stick with this)

One girl was young, a teenager, but had the most loving family in the world. A life-giving, we’ll-stick-it-out-through-anything family, a young family with a home and open arms. A family trying to follow Jesus, who never yet rejected this daughter for any of her previous mishaps and terrible choices. And yet, though her family explicitly offered her all the help, and all the love and desire for the baby she carried, this girl got an abortion. I don’t know what she was thinking. She was scared, I’m sure. Perhaps she didn’t want to experience the pain of childbirth. Perhaps she didn’t want her parents to raise a reminder of her own broken relationships. Her mother cried over the baby so much, the baby who was already loved and wanted and now sacrificed on the altar of Separation of Recreation and Actual Bodily Functions.

Now, the second girl was young as well – in college. I’m sure her circumstances were not too different from the first, but I cannot say. She’d made mistakes, she’d made poor choices. But this time she didn’t insist on her rights, and she put the child up for adoption after carrying her to term. She faced judgment and glares and tsks, but she did what she did and moved on with her life. Someone else, some family, now rejoices in that baby daughter.

My experience taints the emotions I experience over the idea of abortion. I would never, never condemn a woman faced with the agonizing choice of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. But all the unwanted pregnancies I’ve known about happened to girls who should have taken that sociology class.

{{Does it seem like I’m trying to preach against having sex before marriage? I’m not advocating for new laws or universal codes of conduct no matter your belief system. But I’ve written before about the heartache that sexual choices have caused – in my own life, and the lives of others I know.}}

It’s not about “GOD SAYS SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS WRONG.”

It’s, Precious sister, things happen that we cannot prepare for. Actions have reactions and sex sometimes makes babies. Why, why would you take the risk with an unfaithful ex-boyfriend? With a boy not even out of his parents’ house? With a man who says he loves you but isn’t able to care for you?

It’s about knowing you can deal with a situation before you do certain things.

{does that make me ill-fitting and heartless? I KNOW abortion-situations aren’t all this way. I know that. But some of them are and it turns my stomach in knots.}

I’ve been brought to the altar so often recently, dragging my rights behind me. Because I don’t serve a God who insists on rights – his own or anyone’s. I serve a God who gave up his “rights” and reached out to me. I serve a Christ who asks that I do the same. The religious right and the progressive left in this country both demand rights for their various causes, for various people.

And yeah, we should give rights to others. I absolutely 100% agree with that.

But it’s still my job to lay down my rights, even once they’re given to me.

//Is that just getting the gift but never opening it? Is my tear-stained gut even making any sense?//

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