one year later

[written March 2014]

I’m crying and I can’t stop.

No, that’s not how it started. It started with driving out of the parking deck. It started with praying.

((our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name…))

God, please help these children. Please help your children.


God, please turn our hearts to you, to your children. God please turn our stupid stone hearts to flesh. Please God, please God.

(can’t speak, crying so hard)

“You’re young.”

So was Jeremiah. And Timothy and Josiah.

“We have to follow our conviction.”

That’s fine just don’t call it true religion.

“The gospel is at stake.”

YES IT IS. And the stakes are so high.

Someday kids, undergraduate kids, will raise their hands and ask their professors, how could so many Christians use the gospel to justify slavery? To justify the crusades? The inquisition? Pulling pledged, financial sponsorship from ten thousand children in less than a week?

And all I hear from everyone makes me cry and cry and hurt so bad.